Still nothing from the men of God. Hmm.
I mentioned this to a couple of girls at church last night and we discussed whether you need an entirely different approach for a Christian site. Surely, I argued, you’re the same person whichever site you’re on, so you shouldn’t have to change your profile according to your, let’s call them, ‘audience’. J, however, thought I may need to ‘holy up’ a bit.
Can this be right? Can I really need to sell myself differently to a Christian clientele? If so, I’m slightly distressed. The notion that godly men might not be able to handle my normal dating patter doesn’t say much for them.
Anyway, my friends suggested looking at the profiles of other, similar-aged women on the site for comparison. This is something I have, in more than two months of online dating, so far avoided, because my ego is fragile enough without the pressure of seeing the competition. But since I was clearly doing something wrong here, today I took their advice.
Yep, I’ve been pitching it all wrong. It comes down to vocabulary. This site abounds with warm, loyal, caring women who love the Lord. I, on the other hand, have described myself as independent (for which read ‘doesn’t need a man’) and self-assured (aka ‘bossy’).
Nor is humour a major element of Christian dating sites (as compared to, say, Soulmates, where you need to crack a joke every other line just to keep people reading). Every other girl I looked at was playing it straight. Which means my answers to the question ‘What type of man are you looking for?’ are entirely inappropriate. The correct response, I have discovered, is ‘a kind, strong man with whom I can grow’.
So I am currently scrabbling to soften up my profile before I frighten off anyone else. I need to come up with some Christian euphemisms for my personality. I have decided I am now ‘friendly’, ‘sociable’ and ‘adventurous’. I have ‘an arty side’. And even though I assumed that it didn’t need to be said, I ‘love God’ and am looking for ‘a strong Christian man who can share my journey’. Now I just need a more appealing way of explaining that I’m argumentative (‘energetic’, maybe?) and moody.
Has anyone any suggestions on how to sound more attractive to Christian men? All thoughts very gratefully received…
“honesty is important to me” could cover any number of those vices i guess!
But my opinion? Any men specifically searching for girls who describe themselves as “warm, loyal, caring women who love the Lord” must be jerk-brains looking for doormats.
Maybe less is more- list some interests but leave out the 28 paragraphs on your spiritual gifts… they’re not going to get any sense of who you are until they meet you anyway
lovin your blog sister!
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